Payton has been home for a week. It's great having her home. It is nice not having to go to 2 hospitals a night like we did every day for 97 days. It is nice getting used to the routine that she is setting for us right now.
However, it is not easier, it is not better.
It is not better to only go to one hospital a night - because Parker is still in there and has to stay right now. It is not better to have Payton home - because Parker isn't here too, because we go see Parker and to put him back in his crib at night and walk away and leave without him. It's not easier to walk away when he's looking at you but you have to tuck him in and say goodnight in a place that's not home. It's not easier to always have to go to the hospital by yourself and leave Payton at home with the other one. I would give every ounce of sleep I might get for the next 3 months to have Parker home too and have it be harder trying to take care of both of them.
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