1/23/2010

It's not easier

Payton has been home for a week. It's great having her home. It is nice not having to go to 2 hospitals a night like we did every day for 97 days. It is nice getting used to the routine that she is setting for us right now.

However, it is not easier, it is not better.

It is not better to only go to one hospital a night - because Parker is still in there and has to stay right now. It is not better to have Payton home - because Parker isn't here too, because we go see Parker and to put him back in his crib at night and walk away and leave without him. It's not easier to walk away when he's looking at you but you have to tuck him in and say goodnight in a place that's not home. It's not easier to always have to go to the hospital by yourself and leave Payton at home with the other one. I would give every ounce of sleep I might get for the next 3 months to have Parker home too and have it be harder trying to take care of both of them.

1/21/2010

Back together

We took Payton to see Parker tonight. It was the first time they had ever really seen each other since they were born. And first time they have been in the same place since they were 6 days old.


I just love these guys


1/17/2010

Announcement

Payton Renee Forsythe

Born October 9, 2009 at 26 weeks
1lb 14 oz, 13.5 inches

Going Home January 15, 2010 at 40 weeks (original due date)
6lbs, 18.5 inches

1 Down, 1 To Go

There was nothing like getting the phone call that on the 4th try, Payton had passed her car seat test. She would have to come home on oxygen and a apnea monitor, but they were going to let her come home. But after getting my hopes up the week before and then it didn't happen, I didn't get too excited about it until Thursday night when there hadn't been any other hiccups to stop it from happening. We had to do about 2 hours of training on her equipment she would be coming home with and baby CPR. Then we spent the night with her all to ourselves in the hospital so that we could get used to how her new equipment worked before we left and ask any questions if we needed to. As soon as we were given our discharge orders we were outta there.

It's wonderful to have her home finally. 14 weeks is a long time to be at the hospital every single day (and sometimes twice). But it was also very bittersweet. There is part of our little family at home but there's a big hole where Parker will fit into when he gets here. And having Payton home and spending all day with her gives me a feeling like we're leaving Parker out or he's being ignored or neglected. I know that's not true. I know in my head that the nurses love him and that he's a big flirt with them, they come sit with him during the night and in the afternoon, and he always has a room full of girls (see what I'm in for later). But just because my head knows that doesn't make the rest of us get rid of that feeling. Someday very soon, Parker will come home and then we will finally be complete.

1/08/2010

So close

Parker is getting so close to being on a bottle. They've been working at condensing his feedings. Dr. Anderson has called in speech therapy to come work with him. His oxygen is so close to being off the high-flow. He hangs most the time at room air - he doesn't need lots of extra oxygen he just likes the pressure.

Payton is so close to coming home. She's doing so well with her feedings. She's doing well with her cares. She's just got to be able to tolerate being in her carseat a little better.

Two steps forward, one step back.