I went to the NICU tonight. We weren’t readmitted – I was there for a fellow preemie mom. Someone I’m proud to call a friend. Someone who I’ve watched, from the distance, grow and fight for what she wanted for her babies. Someone who I’m incredibly proud of.
It was a little strange to me to be standing in that place on this side of this incredible horrible, awful, wonderful, joyous journey. To wonder if two years ago that’s what I looked like. I was too busy, too blinded then to see my own reflection.
As I stood and watched this family play a CD of pictures of their entire family, it was hard for me to hold back my tears. Their older children all visiting great places. Their other preemie through some of his first hard days. And then the pictures of her twins who are in the NICU now. I have pictures just like that. I remember what my twins were wearing during their first pictures together, and I know that she will always have that memory, too.
She had brought us all together to share birthday cakes for her twins and to let us all know that baby boy had passed his car seat test and was ready to go home. They’re just waiting for baby girl to catch up. It gave me goosebumps. She had a room full of people who had prayed, wished, hoped and sent out good baby vibes and it had helped to get them to this point. Another family on the verge of all going home.
I cried on the way home. I cried knowing that it was in joy for them, for their family hitting another milestone. I cried for baby boy’s “graduation”. And some of those tears were for me. That I knew exactly what they were feeling. That even though it’s been two years, it is still a bit raw at times and catches me when I least expect it.
I’m so grateful for the chance to be there for their victory. And for the chance it gave me to help continue to heal.
Happy gradation baby Hayden!
~Amy
And as an update - baby girl, Jasmine, did catch up and is going home on Wednesday. Happy graduation baby girl!
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